We must raise a toast to you for handling the toughest job of parenting two or more kids. In a world where people are refraining themselves from a lifelong commitment to being married, you have taken up the toughest job in the world of raising two or more kids. Hats off to you…..!!
Sibling rivalry is a very common affair. Here, we will discuss some practical insights into positive parenting to overcome fights amongst kids at home. I understand that when the siblings fight, there is just one big concern in your mind, which is – ‘How to help them build a long term bond as best friends?’ This question has been common to all parents on this planet, but when they could sail through difficult times why you can’t?
Of course, all brothers and sisters on this planet fight and here is how you can teach them to be friendly with each other:
- Never neglect the older sibling: I remember befriending a family having two kids. The younger one was too demanding on the mother, and the mother had to give a lot of time to her. But, whenever the older one wanted her attention, she would often ask her to either wait or to do it on her own as her little sis needed attention then.
Slowly, the older child who was initially very caring and supportive of her younger sister started developing jealousy. This went up to such an extent that she started harming the younger sister’s friends so that they don’t turn up to play with her.
It was not completely the mother’s fault as her hands were full. But, a wise parenting strategy here would be to divide your time for both younger and older siblings. Please show a lot of love and affection to the older child as you would when she was a single child.
You must spend some regular quality time with your elder child when your little one spares you. This would make sure that the elder child feels loved, attended to, and secured.
Moreover, involve your older kid to help you with her little sister. This would make her understand that younger siblings need little more attention and care as they are totally dependent on others.
- Teach them to be kind instead of fair: Teach your kids to be kind to each other while playing instead of being fair. Siblings tend to develop a lot of competition amongst them. So, reinforcing that they need to be kind to each other rather than fair would be a better strategy.
Kindness helps the kids to overcome differences and be nice to each other.
- Small treats for who makes up first: My favourite strategy while resolving conflict amongst kids is – ‘The one who says sorry first is elderly’. Such feedbacks make your children humble, polite, accepting and forgiving with each other. So, whoever agrees to makeup must be given a small gift as a token of appreciation.
- Never Compare: The biggest cause of jealousy amongst the kids is when you appreciate one of your kids and ask the other one to be like him or her. Rather than comparing, you must rather appreciate one or more different qualities of each of your children.
Remember, to appreciate both the kids’ together rather than appreciating one and asking the other to get inspired. Of course, there would be times when one of your kids has done something wrong or unacceptable. At that time, you must make the child aware of his wrong behavior and share how he or she can correct it. But, remember to not draw direct reference in terms of appreciation of the elder child, as it may cause jealousy in the younger one.
- Accept and move on: Siblings fight way too more when they know you are around to protect them. Sometimes just let it be, and you will see that they will learn to accommodate and be friendly with each other.
Siblings are like blessings who teach us to negotiate, to fight and stand up for ourselves, to defend, and to stay together. Kids are the biggest learners as well as teachers at the same time. With these strategies, you will be able to sail through those difficult moments with ease.
Please do write back to me in comments sharing your thoughts on this. I would love to hear back from you on this. Thank you:). Happy Parenting 🙂