I understand that with our little heroes and princesses around, sometimes the life gets too tough. Despite being very dedicated and understanding as a parent, we end up hitting the original note of parenting by being strict, sometimes we end up threatening the kids or we take their favourite toys away.
But, this old strategy is rarely appreciated by kids’ psychologists and behavioural experts. And, we often end up worrying how to teach our kids how to be disciplined and obedient without being harsh.
This is where positive parenting seeps in. Positive parenting is about bringing up the kids not with an authoritative attitude but with mutual respect. When we talk about positive parenting, we talk about the following approaches which need to be learnt:
- Empathy: Having empathy means understanding a child’s psychology. Fear cannot exist where empathy exists. Say for instance, the child throws all his food on the floor.
Conventional approach: You scold the child and ask him to clean up. He does not follow you and you refuse the child his favourite dessert or toy.
But, here the child did not understand the connect between spilling the food and not getting his favoured toy or dessert.
Positive parenting approach: You must rather take the plate to the child and say the food stays on the plate. Try and plan your child’s next couple of meals with the family and let each family member show their plates to the child indicating the food stays on a plate.
The second approach is every time the child does not spill the food over; you must appreciate the child or reward him with something he may like.
2. Mutual Respect: Watch the tone and manner in which you choose to speak to your child. The equation for any relationship is quite clear, what you give is what you get. This same equation applies to parenting as well.
Use polite and humble way of talking to your child when he messes up. I know it is difficult but with little practice you can do it. Try to get down to your child’s eye level to talk to him while correcting his behavior or any such similar issue.
The more respect you show to your child, the more respect you get in return.
3.Use the positive approach: If the child leaves the room messy with toys all over, and your other kid gets hurt. You must ask your younger kid to apply ice pack to the other one. It teaches your child why it is important to clean up the floor every time.
These are some of the ways in which positive parenting helps in building up positive relationships. It is very unfortunate that relationship of grown up kids with their parents are falling apart in current times. One of the major reasons of this is that the young grown-ups are not confident that their parents will understand of their choices. A majority of them even presume that their parents may disown them or they will be very upset if they learn about the choices they want to make in life.
So, this really reflects about how effective conventional parenting is in today’s world. But, when you try to take the positive parenting approach, the child has a lot of trust, and faith in you and chooses to approach you in case of any dilemma or problem in life.
Isn’t this what we want from our kids? Then why not bring them up in a way which ensures that we love and respect them unconditionally, and we correct their mistakes only by using positive approaches to parenting.