How to deal with an angry child?

It is very commonly seen, that small toddlers or kids of age 3 to 8 get extremely demanding on their parents. Toddlers are also seen to have plenty of temper tantrums which they usually take out on their parents.

The worst thing is that as parents, we feel utterly helpless in tackling our angry child. And, this is not just with you and me, but with thousands of other parents who openly share their concerns on this. If this anger is not checked right at the beginning stage, then it could be seen growing as the child grows.

Though kids are increasingly displaying anger at minimal age, yet anger is an emotion that is strongly genetically driven as well. So, let us now see what we can do to help our kids get rid of this unnecessary anger:

  • Check your own excitement: Kids pick-up things fastest from us, the parents. When they see you getting angry, they will invariably copy it in their behavior. No wonder, you would have been annoyed at the most genuine thing one could have thought of, but kids are kids, they will just follow what they see you doing.

They copy thier parents and use it to get things done their way. For them, anger is like a tool that is used to express displeasure at every small thing that didn’t happen the way the child wanted it to.

So, if we are looking out for ways to calm down our kids, the change has to begin with us. No matter, how challenging or annoying the situation is, we must never display anger in front of the child.

Avoid arguments and tiffs in-front of your child: It is common between the couples to argue or have tiffs. But, if the arguments and tiffs happen in front of the child, then it can really work against the child’s well-being. As parents, always be patient enough to sort out differences only when the child has slept or is off to school.

A child will surely copy this behavior and replicate it in situations ahead if he sees you both fighting often at home.

  • Teach the child to pray: Prayers are a great way to keep our minds peaceful, happy, and balanced. Connecting with God every single day helps us to stay calm and composed.

Like, I keep saying in all my blog posts; parents (especially mothers) are the perfect role-model for kids. The kids will always follow what they see their parents do.

So, always make it a practice to start your day with gratitude. It amazingly changes the way kids perceive things and react to situations for better. And, after a bath spend at least 15 minutes connecting with the Supreme power God.

You will notice how this small ritual of praying every day will guide, protect and bless your child at every step.

A recent study at the University of Wiscoin, suggests that people who pray have great comfort during hard times.  The study further revealed that 75% of Americans pray every week and they see great support in dealing with anger, illness, sadness or any other negative emotion.

  • Always use positive language even if you are incredibly disappointed with your kid:

There are times when kids refuse to listen. They continuously throw tantrums or disobey you. Such times are very challenging to deal with, especially if you had a bad day at work or are extremely tired by the end of the day.

But it is best to stay quiet when you are upset. You may end up saying things you don’t mean to your child when you are upset. And, believe me, every single word coming out of your mouth is shaping your child’s future.

So, even if your child is a super-angry kid, you must only say positive statements like:

‘My child is peaceful.’

‘My child is obedient.’

‘My child is understanding.’

‘My child is joyous.’

It is a Universal secret that every word we speak goes out to form our future. So, say only those words which define the future of your kid. These words could be no way close to what your child is currently, but it is your words that will shape up your child’s future for better.

So, say those powerful positive adjectives for your child that you want to see in him or her.

  • Counsel your child post anger episode: You must always look for the right time to counsel your child for his anger bouts. Always counsel your child patiently and only when the child is in a good mood. And, a tip to consider here is to be a good listener than a good talker. You need to know what goes wrong in your child’s mind which triggers his or her behavior of becoming an angry child.

Most small kids get angry often when they are:

  • Hungry
  • Sleepy
  • Tired
  • Or, when they seek attention

You will be better equipped to deal with your child’s anger when you know the root cause behind it. It is always good to divert your child’s attention when you see the anger episode has started to build up.

Kids are young and tender, so it is easy to mold and teach them. But, the efforts need to be constant from your end. Very soon, you will see your angry baby turning into one of the soberest, obedient and joyous kids around.


  1. These are good discussions. I really like Supernanny: Jo Frost. But what I really see is the need for parents to be the parents, adults to be the adults. From there, most problems disappear. Without the thought police, if you put young people with me (doesn’t matter what the issues), they calm down immediately. And the ones who really try, maybe a week or two longest. Why? Because I address the issue straight forward, telling them how the cow ate the cabbage. And they also know I do care, but not in a fuzzy bear sort of way.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. One other things to share, and I’d love to hear others. On one day, I watched as a parent was having discussions with their child. The child was talking back. I said to the child, listen to your parent. Immediately, the child calmed down, looking a little guilty for the child never would have gotten away with such behavior around me, and nodded in agreement. This child, as others, know they can tell me anything, and I’ll listen, but there must be respect. **Unfortunately, this simple understanding is becoming outdated. Not because it isn’t good or works, but for some other reason I leave to the reader to discover.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I really appreciate your writing back to me on this. This simple equation is fading away due to changing times. Children alone cannot be blamed as they only do what they see us doing. The impact on a child’s psychology is from various sources such as friends, movies, cartoons, family, etc. Hence, we need to deal with this patiently, as using force or domination only make kids more rebellious. The feeling such as respect, manners, etc, will take over with time when we approach this issue with the right strategy.


      • I do think, to some great degree, we have been “trained” to think and fear the words authority and discipline. Somehow, though they can work very well, and I do believe their are times when the father has to assert his authority, even “because I said so.” But of course, he needs to be the example of what he’s expecting, to the best he can. Not reacting out of resentment, but truly seeing the necessity of what is said. As when the kids must do their chores, perhaps more so during times when crops and horses needed caring, but I think the purpose is always similar. Yes, before you see your friends, you will finish your homework and do your chores.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Defining limits is essential at times. Fear does discipline the child and may provide positive outcomes. Of course, we have seen in the past how having a strict father forced us to stay in limits. But, in doing so arent we teaching a kid that it is okay to get annoyed if someone else is not acting as per your will. In a way, anger seems to be a justified emotion when a father uses it to discipline his child. But here we are talking about raising kids who are so tolerant and understanding of situations that they learn to fight them without losing their temper. I think if we use a positive parenting approach, the results may be delayed but will definitely be long lasting. It seems very tough to discipline a kid without being harsh, but persistent approach surely give us assured results.


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