As parents and as teachers, we have been striving hard to grow up kids with positive mindsets. We look for opportunities to praise our kids for their efforts only to help them grow into confident, resilient kids with positive mindsets.
But, it is seen that empty praises can really harm your child.
By this I mean,
For instance, your child did not do well in English and walked up to you to show the ‘C’ grade score.
Usually, how parents react is by saying, ‘Oh, you tried your best! Don’t worry!! I love the score you got. Don’t worry about what others say, you did a fantastic job.
But, as per Carol Dweck, ‘Such appreciations are empty appreciations as your kid ends up thinking that probably he has done enough to please you and others. And, working hard is probably not needed as he managed to please you with his current efforts.’
Now, of course, as a parent, you wanted your kid to score well in English, but at the same time, you did not want to break the morale of your child.
So, you can still positively reinforce in your child, ‘You tried your best, but learning English will strengthen your brain muscle further, so let’s try harder next time.’
Or, ‘Learning English is so much fun, and English helps you to study understand all other subjects well. What you did is fantastic, but with a little more effort, we can do a lot better.’
This clarifies the picture in the child’s mind that what he has done currently is perfectly okay, but there are excellent opportunities for him or her to improve in the future. It helps the kids to set realistic goals and also be resilient to bounce back to normal under challenging times.
Hiding facts or manipulating realities can harm your child when she grows up. You must always be truthful to your kid. Share what is expected out of them in school, but of course, never judge your child for his performance.
I mean, ‘never say things like, oh! How foolish of you to have scored so less in such an easy exam?’
Or, how can you not perform such an easy task?
Or, I cannot accept your failure.
Or, Make sure you please me by scoring well.
Now, this comes across as a very negative language. As a parent, we need to be truthful to kids and help them realize their lacking by being polite, open, and positive.
I hope this was helpful for you…….Please feel free to contact me through Facebook or LinkedIn, or you can comment here directly if you have a WordPress account.