How to deal with stressed or poor relationships?

I will take you through an interesting story today, hold tight as you are going to enjoy every bit of it. I heard this story somewhere online; the story is so touching that I thought of writing it here for you all.

On a far-away island, there lived many porcupines. Porcupines are animals with spikes all over their body. It was soon announced that there is a big ice storm expected on that island. So, all the porcupines got together urgently and held a meeting regarding how to save themselves. They all looked for ways to save themselves. They all realised that they should leave the island immediately as otherwise, they will die of cold.

Before they could manage to leave the island, the storm struck. Porcupines were shivering with bitter cold. They all came together to keep their bodies warm. But, when they came together, their spikes started injuring each other. All of them were hurt, bruised, and wounded. Most of them were even bleeding. 

But, they didn’t seem to have any other option. They chose to bear the pain of being pricked by each other’s thorns and stay close, instead choose to die of cold. Though some porcupines did move away who were unable to bear the hurt, but they were found dead in the cold.

Those who stuck together could manage to survive such bitter cold and storm. Painful or stressed relationships are precisely like the spikes of these porcupines. They hurt a lot when they are close to us, but if we look at the bigger picture, we are much better off with them than without them.

In today’s world, most relationships have become a roller-coaster life. People have lost the power to tolerate each other. A small issue is also bloated out of proportion due to intolerance. 

But, often by staying together with little adjustments and tolerance, we can cross the biggest challenges easily than otherwise. Look at the ancient India concept of the Joint family – How easy was it to bring up kids in olden times? Parents could easily go off to work, leaving their kids with grandparents.

These days even thinking of planning a kid gives anxiety attacks to a couple who are used to double income coming from both the partners. As, the entire burden of bringing up the kid is on the shoulders of the couple, and usually, the mother has to quit working for some time to do justice to motherhood.

Another common occurrence that is quickly rising is divorce rates. Couples are unable to tolerate and forgive even small mistakes of each other, which makes them grow apart. 

Normally the issues could easily have been handled with little patience and tolerance. But, the partners instead delve into arguments and fights and move apart. Most people who have divorced, think of finding another perfect partner in life soon.

But, it is commonly seen that they fail to maintain all the other relationships they delve in. This is so because they want their partners to be perfect without being ready to make adjustments by being tolerant, humble, understanding, and patient.

Later, when such people have failed in multiple relationships, they often repent of not trying to save their earlier relationships. But, now it’s too late for them to correct themselves. 

And, imagine the agony of kids in getting separated from one of their parents without any fault of theirs. 

And, why just marriage, all other relationships also suffer due to arrogance and intolerance. Families are losing their bonding only because people lack the power to adjust to each other.

Just think how much fun it would have been if, during this Corona Crisis, we could reunite and stay with our parents for so long. This boredom and loneliness of lockdown for some would have changed into an exciting fun time. 

So, the perspective of looking at relationships is our own and is different for each. But, it is always good to bend a little to let relationships last, instead of letting ego and arrogance take over. 

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